I had the most beautiful visit with a good friend yesterday.
I hadn't intended for it to become a deep and emotional conversation but, in the safety of her presence and compassion, it did.
She is the type of person that is there for you 100% in a non-judgemental and compassionate position. Openly listening and never comparing her struggles vs mine, only offering affirmations of support and a place to be a sounding board. She has awareness when it's best to simply listen and when to provide ideas or solutions to problems when asked, or inferred.
Perhaps best of all, she knows the perfect time to not only offer physical comfort but, reads between the lines and embraces you. She's simply magical and an absolute blessing in my life.
Since my diagnosis for the Huntington Disease (HD) gene, off and on I've contemplated, or struggled, with the concept of one day equalling two.
That pressure of time running out can be so immensely suffocating at times, to the point of becoming immobilizing; paralytic.
Yet, other times it can provide insane energy and motivation to stop wasting the days away and get things done - dreams, aspirations, projects...
Perhaps to some it may be "silly" to think of life this way, to cause more stress and pressure on yourself but, as my good friend pointed out, living with that mentality may in fact reduce the amount of time one wastes.
To always say, "tomorrow.... another day... in the future..." and yet those days never seem to make the call for action because somehow there is the sense of immortality and that there is no end to our time here on earth or; to our youth or; to our abilities.
The reality is, we may all have a shorter life than expected.
I know mine is shortened and I try to see it as a blessing to not waste time now while I'm healthy and able to do nearly everything I could dream up.
I have put pen to paper and made some notable advancements from my to do's, or 'bucket list' if you will, and then some. Certainly my largest successes are unique to me however, I think the beautiful, vibrant and HD-free children I have hanging from my limbs may take top place.
I would like to encourage you to take an inventory of your wishes and wants for the future but also look to the past and make a list of what you have done and what you wanted to do or plan to.
If you're not satisfied with the accomplishment section of that list, make a plan how to change that.
What can you do about it? How can you achieve these items? Are your goals to get there SMART: specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely?
You only get one life and you're not guaranteed to live healthy into your 80's or beyond.
If you're not satisfied, make a change.
Halt the excuses and distractions.
This is your life and it will not change unless you create change and escape behaviours and habits that hold you back.
You're not too old.
You're not too young.
But, maybe you are wasting time.
pictured: our family out for a walk January 2020 just before high winds and snow settled in!
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