The judgiest and most celebrated part of being a grown up (from what I've experienced so far) is parenting.
But we all know the helicopter and negligent parents but what may be the worst 'new' type: lawnmower parents. These are parents who remove every obstacle from a child's life and give them a false sense of reality including boundaries and safety.
Most of us are parenting somewhere in the middle letting our children use knives, run outside alone and eat uncut grapes. (I kid... partly).
But there a few reasons why this all matters and I will now bore you with my personal experiences and rationale of action. (but please, stay interested....)
My Childhood
Growing up in a concrete jungle doesn't allow for the same daily exposure to backyard dirt eating and grass peeing freedom the country kids are spoiled with. No intentional burn the city folk, just throwing props to the country living!
(alert: nurse plug!) Farm kids, especially, are so heavily blessed with the advantages of 'dirt' in their lives. Early exposure = immunity strengthening. And I seriously dig that as much as this outfit from the 90's below.
I, for one, was a disgusting kid - and I guess I still am. I have always bit my nails (yup). I have tried to stop and can't - like for real. It's some weird nervous habit I have and apparently I'm nervous all the time (except pregnant with my first babe and in early post partum - huh?? Babies do weird things to us).
But, my point is, I would head to the barn with dad and be working however many hours and at some point my hands would end up in my mouth - not washed. I'd have touched all things exposed to live chicken, manure, pigs, cattle, manure, poop, feces, dust... manure.
I have NEVER had salmonella, worms or parasites. Even now, I work alongside patients who are chronically coughing in my face who end up diagnosed with colds, influenza or pneumonia - and I rarely have a sick day.
Is that a shock orrrrr what?!
Throughout my years of formal education and now the continued learning from work, it's clear (via professionals in research) that safe early exposure to pathogens actually helps kids immunity - hence the use of early vaccinations, exposure to dirt, and eating nuts/eggs, etc...
Real talk: If you have Q's or comments, talk to an educated professional - don't be a turd and trust a social media rant by an uncredible and perhaps uneducated source (education = be a skeptic they aren't biased prior to their "research". Every side of a story is available in a google search - right or wrong - credible resource or not. Being in a health profession where we are giving diagnoses daily, I see FB posts after hospital visits where the person is not portraying the info properly or misinterpreted what was said to them, thus, misinforming their 'friends').
Real Talk: How cute is my girl here!!??! (insert heart explosion!)
My Parenting Experience
My kids play outside and eat dirt. I've also seen them eat the cat's food. Of course I'll stop them but I'm not panicking about it. I do NOT want my kids bubble wrapped from anything - dirt - food - disappointment.
I want them to come in last place from time to time.
I want them to be humbled by experiences that keep their ego's in check.
I want them to know they have to work hard to achieve their goals, and work harder when things don't work out for them.
I want them to know that every 'failure' is more of an opportunity for growth, for trying again or eliminating methods that don't work.
I want them to know that they have to be responsible for their achievements and if we as parents are always stepping in to 'solve' their problems, they won't be functioning adults who know how to solve problems on their own.
I won't always be around to maintain a bubble wrap (plus, that stuff is bad for the environment *wink).
They have to, eventually, *gulp* survive without me and face real world adult problems head on (insert sobbing mother here).
Last winter (a Canadian winter...) I had a newborn and Lord knows I wasn't going out with a newborn.
So at times, I sent my 3.5 year old out alone. (gasp! you negligent parent!) ...
Why was this ok, for us? Mostly, because I'm not a stupid person but we had rules and boundaries.
We don't live close to a road or in town with no fence. Our country property is large enough there's space to wander but the driveway makes the perfect boundary setting for staying away from our shed and other farm equipment. The living room window looks out over the play yard where I could sit inside warm nursing my baby while sipping a HOT coffee (this is huge - as you know!) while having 100% view of my child outside. In addition, our super kind dog was clung to her side the entire time she'd be outside praying that she will throw a stick for him over and over and over and... even our dog is trained within our "dog boundaries" - no electric fence required.
Does she fall on her beautiful sticky face when I'm not around? You bet she does.
Will it kill her? No.
And frankly, minor injuries are showing her what actions and activities are 'dangerous' or going to cause her harm. It is a way she is learning about safety, boundaries and independence.
If you know my daughter, she is miss independent. She's confident, kind and thoughtful. She asks for help when she needs it but isn't afraid to try things on her own. She doesn't largely rely on us for tasks and when she gets hurt she has a quick snuggle and rapidly moves forward. She is resilient and very much aware of her limitations. I attribute a lot of this to who she is naturally but, also believe it's thanks to letting her run lose at times with "free play" and to be "free range".
Let kids get down and dirty and run amuck without hovering over them at arms length.
Let parents have some slack when they're not keeping kids on a short leash. (not referring to the backpack leashes while out at Disney or something because in those cases, those things are on point).
Let them work out their own friend battles (by dance off or otherwise), problem solve and recover from a traumatic knee scrape.
Let them use a knife and help chop veges for lunch or dinner.
I, like any parent, love my kids beyond measure and would do anything to keep them safe. My actions are not thoughtless, in fact, they are so heavily laid with considerations it could make my head explode.
I am proud to say, I'm raising "free range" kids... and I'm loving it!!
All within reason of course ;)
