When you have a child, your first anyways, it seems everyone who has kids has to pose the question, "Don't you wonder what you did with all the spare time before you had a baby?".
No. No. Actually I don't.
Here is why.
I breastfeed on the one end of my couch. It's a great location. I almost feel as particular as Sheldon from the Big Bang as to why it is the perfect spot. It has a side table that is the absolute perfect height for my drinks and snacks (Lord knows you MUST have these essentials when breastfeeding, or you may very well disappear into thin air. Babies literally suck the life out of you). I have a floor lamp that doesn't scream university student since it has glass detailing (that makes a difference, right?). There is a coffee table that I can get my feet so perfectly onto that they are at the height just below my belly button - prime location. In front of that kick ass side table, I have a perfect nook to place my nursing pillow when it's not in use. This seems beyond crucial when it feels like the house so easily becomes a house of chaos even when your child doesn't know how to walk or terrorize the place yet. So, this nook gives me a feeling of organization.
Above all else, my favourite thing about this spot is the view. I have a huge window to my left that spans 3x5 feet with no visual breaks. I can see our lawn perfectly. And out that awesomely large window I can see our apple and pear tree we love to pluck in the fall. I can watch our hen house where the girls hop in and out throughout the day, nesting between their endless hours of hunting for worms - so humbling. But, with that said, I can see those same hens in my gardens kicking up dirt, barring every root and tossing flowers upside-down, just having the time of their lives while I cringe and think of the work that should be done to fix it. But let's get real, it won't happen. But, it doesn't matter, because I can also see our dog and cat running around having the time of their lives because all they think about is eating, defecating, playing and sleeping.
But I digress.
I don't wonder what I did before I had my precious baby because I sit in my special nursing spot and watch it all go to shit.
Why do people ask that? Do they feel the need to point out even more clearly how little time you have for yourself, your hobbies, or heaven forbid, your hygiene?
I had my baby at the end of May.
My beautiful new vegetable garden that I made that year (growing boxes and all from scratch) sat over the summer growing more weeds than vegetables.
The dirt I laid the prior summer with such passion is now being kicked out and spread thin across the grass so much so, that I can't even salvage a grain of it.
The apples and pears have fallen from the trees and lay on the ground rotting.
*Bonus: the chickens are loving the extra compost because it just leads to extra insects.
But I miss my home made apple pie.
I miss cutting the grass for 2 hours with no interruptions.
Cutting the grass.
So simple.
So silly.
But it's that time to myself that I miss where my thoughts can get rolling and no one puts a hammer down stopping those creative juices from flowing.
Creative juices. I even miss those.
I used to sew and craft on a regular basis. Although I was able to make our family's Christmas stockings, I have piles of fabric just sitting in totes buried so deep I'm not sure they even exist anymore.
But, not all is lost. You won't lose everything after baby. But get real, you temporarily lose some things.
key word: temporarily.
It gets better.
Now that my little angel is 7 months old, I have noticed that I do have more time to get some things done while she naps. The key lies in figuring out what to do. Dishes, vacuum, craft, garden, cut grass, nap... But there is SOME time for you. So if you want that extra long shower just because, then go for it! I'm bad at taking the time for me and using it on the house, but the house doesn't thank me at the end of the day. Hell, it doesn't shed a tear if it's neglected for a week.
It doesn't care.
But you will, so you do you!
And don't get me wrong, I'd give up anything for my baby and wouldn't trade her for anything (plus I think it's illegal)!
But, when I am asked about the wonder of what I used to do, I can only respond with the truth.
"Wonder what I did before? Hell no! I know exactly what I did before."
コメント